Day 16

Today was Day 16.

Today was a busy day.

Today was my first day back at work after a week signed off. I survived the morning by hiding in a corner and working through my backlog of emails. And I managed to cope with lunch. It still didn't taste of anything but I managed to keep it down. I know it is a small thing to be pleased about but even little wins like finishing a meal without being sick seem to be worth noting at this point.

In the afternoon I had another trip to the psychiatrist. This was a lot less productive than my previous visits but I did get some answers about the drugs I am on. It turns out that many of the physical symptoms I am having could either be direct from the anxiety attacks and being mitigated by the pills, or they could actually be side-effects of the medication. This has not made it any easier to decide about continuing to take them. On the grounds that today was a good day (more below) I am going to skip the one I should take tonight, effectively halving my dosage. I understand the risk in this strategy, but I need to start understanding which symptoms are me and which are the medication.

Enough for one day? Based on the last fortnight this would have been a full day already. But Monday is swim training night and swimming takes enough focus that I can get through it without any major problems. With Inverurie triathlon due this weekend a couple of friends were planning to ride round the bike route before swimming and that seemed a better option than sitting around the house on my own. My bike was still in the car from yesterday's race so I went out and rode round the course with them. It was good to be out doing exercise again without the pressure of racing. I expected the swim session to be hard work after an hour on the bike but I lasted about 50minutes before the cramps in my calfs started and I was able to work through it and finish the set.

Today was a busy day but it was definitely a good day.