Day 18

Today was Day 18.

Today was easily my best day so far.

On the bad side, I still had a minor anxiety attack after work this evening as I drove to swimming. It was the most minor attack I have had so far and I was able to shrug it off as I drove. I am still struggling with focus at work and the flashbacks are still interrupting my ability to carry out any task that needs more than 5-10 minutes of my attention.

But on the plus side work was much possible, eating wasn't a chore and best of all today was my first solo run. It was terrible. 38 minutes for just over 4 miles. But I managed it. I also managed to go straight from that into an open water swim. Again, far from my best swim and I only managed ~850m rather than my planned 1300m. But struggling for energy and having to cut the swim was no surprise as I passed through 74 kg today. Despite successfully eating two meals both yesterday and today I am still losing weight at an unhealthy rate. OK, so my meals are still half the size of what I would usually eat, and adding even minimal levels of exercise is probably pushing my calorie debt further into the red, but the success of being able to exercise and the endorphin high afterwards feel like they are worth any further damage I might be doing to my weight.

I even feel tired, might even manage to sleep.