Today was Day 48.
Yesterday evening's nap made even more of a mess of my sleeping pattern than I expected. Even though I was exhausted I couldn't get to sleep last night again.
After I had blogged on Wednesday night I received another round of facebook abuse so I got busy with the ignore button and reporting people to facebook this time.
I thought that doing something active about ignoring it rather than getting wound up and arguing with people would be helpful. Instead it just left me getting upset and not sleeping properly again for the last couple of nights. That in turn led to me getting annoyed and sending a couple of emails I probably shouldn't have. I think I have probably alienated a few of the people that were still talking to me by pointing out that they have done a half-arsed job of being my friends over the last two months and that as friends they had a responsibility to act better than they have.
In hindsight and having read it back I stand by what I wrote. Anyone who knows how she behaved and continues to treat her as a friend while treating me like crap is at least partly responsible for things getting to the stage they are now.
Today, I had to park about 20 metres further from the door at work. That extra distance on top of being upset all day was enough to push me to the edge of a panic attack again at home time. I managed to get to the car and thought I was doing ok on the drive home. Turns out I wasn't. After nearly a week the vomiting came back with a vengeance as soon as I was in the door. Something in my body obviously knew this was coming as it hadn't even bothered with trying to digest lunch. The chocolate fudge cake still tasted and looked the same as it had 5 hours earlier. The other technical upside of this is that I managed to be in the house for 15 minutes without locking the door, even if those 15 minutes were spent with my head in teh toilet.
Day 48 - was a Friday, shouldn't have expected anything else.
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